Overcoming bustup CHILDREN

Reasonable, brother-sister squabble. Just be reconciled, eh, and then have a "busy" again. You can not avoid. But, why do they quarrel? How do I cope? "No! This is my property!" agonized the elder brother while playing retake the captured his brother. But the brother did not want to lose. He is a game behind the cop. Be they rebut squall. The sister who irritated, finally beat the younger brother. He is crying.

Other times, the brothers who make trouble. His younger brother who is eager to play alone, suddenly disturbed. Somehow taken its puppet, rope hair removed, or simply make fun of. The younger brother who was upset, then angry, rant. The sisters not stop "seduce" the younger brother, even more happy. He quit after the new brother or mother crying "hands down".
Such events may have become a "daily fine" parents of children under five. Either the brother or the sister who make trouble ahead. Not infrequently we contrived irritated and desperate for children that seems never to stop a quarrel. As a result, the usual children's quarrel, we will usually direct snap, asking them immediately stop squabbling, rebuke, and even punitive.
LEARN reveal emotions
"WHEN DO NOT panic children squabble. If we panic, they will continue to feel Guilty, feel that the fight 'can not' at home. As is usually the parents who panic ago rebuke and punish," said Johanna commonly called Rosalina Rosa , from the Faculty of Psychology Unika Atma Jaya Jakarta.
Lo, how? This is because Rosa see squabbling between the children-not always a negative impact. Through the fracas, he said, children learn reveal their emotions. "For example spar. Because of a quarrel, eh, does not have to compete physically. Now, through the debate, they learn the opinions and his emotions," said Rosa.
Akur scrimmage or not, according to him, is the result. Therefore that should be highlighted but it is not a melee how each child revealed his emotions. "Children who do not dare to contend, may not dare to reveal the anger or emotion. Usually they will be emotionally flat, not sensitive, less sensitive," said Rosa.
Nevertheless, reasonless Rosa agree that any conflict should always be sustained in the melee. Especially if they are to compete physically, it should be avoided. Because, if we get children to compete in the physical compete, then that happens is they can not control the emosinya. But, what actually makes children quarrel?
SEARCH WARNING According sister Rosa, sister of attendance generally is considered a rival by the sisters. Moreover, if the sister is not correct to welcome the arrival of the younger brother since the brother is still in the womb.
It should be understood, Rosa explained, "In the pre-age, children are in a condition which is always incompatible with the environment. The term psychology is, negativism." On the other hand, he also is in the always want to attract the attention of parents. So, if the mother / father says, "You must be my brother," the elder sister might say, "Yes." But he will also say, "No," because he wanted to attract the mother / father. So that usually occur in older brother, "I will do what I like." Thus, the possible sister, only to get the attention of the mother / father.
In addition, the older sister was the only one for some time before his younger brother was born. He was not yet understand that love and attention of the father / mother, to his stable, although there are now younger brother. See that he, the father / mother, now no longer consider themselves fully. Well, what can he do to get attention in return? Yes, the way the adiknya. "In fact, the older brother of the adiknya not to hurt, but only to divert the attention of parents or other adults who are atensinya chance on the younger brother," said Rosa. But if this is successful, the old-old will become a habit. Conversely, if unsuccessful, such as mother / father was angry, then the brothers will try to attract attention again. "Once the circle so as not to result," he added.
Like brother "damage"
What about the brother? Should be, the younger brother who is still age batita like to "make problems". He often throw-beam girder timber that has been organized into one of the palace by sister, interesting-narik dolls hands and feet belong to the gracious brother, or even tear up the book "lessons" of the sisters.
This is because the batita are in the exploration stage. She learned the world, want to develop a sense tahunya with ongoing mencobai environment. He was not yet fully understand the meaning of ownership, so that he often "damage" are to attract, seize anything that is currently being held or played by brother. No wonder if you finally have to face for the squabbling between the squabbling sisters and adiknya. So, how should we behave?
Defend the younger brother
Generally, parents will be impartial and to protect children or young people. "You is, is not it, brother., Succumb. Your sister is still small, have not understand anything." Or, "You Do not beat brother! Him, eh, is still small. Let him play the game. Sirrah, if you are finished playing, then you can play it."
Attitudes of parents so that, according to Rosa, that can not be released from the role of culture / cultural. That first-born child or the older brother is expected to be a good example for his brother-younger brother. Instead the younger brother, because he is smaller, he is considered weak. "To the younger brother, he must usually be taught according to the brother. Do not do anything if you can not be responsible because you smaller," said Rosa.
For the sister who should be the case, according to Rosa, akan violent. Moreover, he is still five. He will feel, what I always expected that while the younger brother does not? If it continues ditanamkan, Rosa is concerned, "The sisters will soon grow to a child who is always self-blame and less confident."
Meanwhile, the younger brother, according to Rosa, the children will always be dependent and less responsible. "He will be easy to remove the responsibility to other people. He also became less confident in the sense that if he took the decision he would await the mother first sisters to wait first. The fact that every child should have the capacity to decide the issue itself," said Bachelor of Education IKIP Jakarta.
So also with the attitude that men must take the child from the girls succumb because boys are stronger while the weaker girls. "In fact, just not always so. Sometimes the child is not strong men, women and children are not always weak," Rosa row. As a result, the child on a woman, he may not then be a man take advantage of his brother. If anything, he will say, "You, eh, boys. For me, anyone." He will always ask for protection.
Both be understanding
Urged the sisters to give in, will only make them feel confident, that the more you feel for his brother. The worse, unconsciously, you train the sisters to be always with the passive and compliant in his younger brother. This is certainly not good for the development of the sisters. Because the end later, he can also behave like that in every child or anyone who will carry him. Truly wretched, is not it? Meanwhile, the younger brother of client, will learn that it can grab whatever you want it want it to anchor it. Remember, the younger brother who still do not have a small understanding of the differences between "mine" and "mine" or "own". He will slowly learn the concept of ownership as long as you let him grab toys or objects from any brother.
Must also remember, the older brother, even though that is greater than the brother, but he still remains a child. He did not understand that adiknya not yet have an understanding of the concept of ownership. Therefore, although the bigger brother, he also need to protected from the aggression adiknya arbitrary.
So, not only the sisters who have been understanding, but also the younger brother. Despite the younger brother is still very young age such as 1-2 years. An effective way, according to Rosa, with the "I message" or "message me". For example, the "Mother of sad because you tear up a picture book your sister." The sisters can be taught to perasaannya to reveal the younger brother. "We do not underestimate the children or young people. He was able, I, to take responsibility that the brother was disappointed, that he became a source," said Rosa.
WHO DO NOT FIND ANY OF THE
Rosa requested that parents be objective in the face of her children squabble. "Parents really need to reconcile both blessing and his son who quarrel. But is not the act as a judge, who is looking for one. Nah, the court in the small house is how the issue opinions without emotion. Ideally we listen to both parties so that we also learn to give justice in children, "explained.
Rosa aware, not easy to be a fair mediator and wise. This is because the influence subyektifitas parents. "If we already have two children, usually the father have a favorite child and the mother was the case. For example, a favorite with the mother while the father first on the youngest. However, the good father and mother are still comparable in providing justice to both their children, "said the mother of two children.
After the second child be reconciled, that parents need to do is invite them apologize to each other. "Normally this is NOT easy. Because we do not apologize for easy on other people, on children. Moreover, it is to teach the two children who are experiencing anger," he said.
But, yet, they still must be taught. Because of the apology, the small study was responsible. "Well, if one of them can learn to apologize first, either the sister or adiknya, then we must give this award. Give him a compliment," said Rosa.
Toys / GOODS ARE MIRIB
Another thing that parents can do is to prevent the occurrence of squabbling, the source if it is known that the same hold. For example, always fight the goods or toys. "Maybe the parents can buy their goods or a toy of the same. If the price is expensive or not parents have the money, why not?" said Rosa.
But in this case, sambungnya, parents need to be flexible can. Because with each toy has one / the same, it means that we not taught to share. Conversely, if all toys / items to be public property, we are not taught to be responsible. Because if toys / goods are damaged, each can avoid, "That is not mine, why."
So, PREFACE Rosa, "Parents who MUST be flexible. When the child must be shared and when the child should have privacy." The most good may be marked with the toys / goods purchased for each child. For example, a red mark for toys / items and the sister to the color yellow toy / possession brother. All toys / items are stored in the box / basket that is also marked with red and yellow.
If a squabble between the brothers and the younger brother of who will play with the toys which you can quickly show them the colors to mark their toys. For example saying, "This is red, so this property sisters." If a stubborn sister, the sister can be given the understanding to learn to share the younger sister but not the request to succumb. When the sisters refused, remember you do not have the right force. Yet, with travel time, both the sister and brother will understand the meaning of sharing. Your home is not bored to continue to teach them.
SOURCE: tabloids-nikita.com